


Somewhere Bound

by dirty_diana



Category: The Expanse (TV)
Genre: Gen, Getting to Know Each Other, Telepathy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-05
Updated: 2019-10-05
Packaged: 2020-12-01 21:08:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,803
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20899955
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dirty_diana/pseuds/dirty_diana
Summary: The Rocinante visits a new planet. Amos and Jim unexpectedly share a connection.





	Somewhere Bound

**Author's Note:**

  * For [venndaai](https://archiveofourown.org/users/venndaai/gifts).

> This is strictly tv-verse, set in an imagined scenario sometime post S3. I'm sure nothing that happens in season 4 will actually be this chill (though we can hope).

The hit that had knocked Holden out had been soundless. There'd only been a wave of white light splitting the already bright alien daylight, then Holden was unconscious. Slumped over a small oblong device, covered in an input screen and blinking warning lights, the exact thing about which Amos had said _don't fucking touch that, Holden_.

But they'd started some sort of timer when they'd crossed the threshold of the deserted lab, and with the device doggedly marking a countdown, Holden had decided the best thing to do would be to jump on it, cradling it against his stomach to shield the rest of them from the potential blast.

As if getting himself blown up would have been in any way helpful, Amos thought. 

Naomi moved into action first. She knelt, inching around the strange bomb, and stretched out a hand to feel Holden's pulse. For all that it looked like ordinance, it hadn't done anything besides throw flashes of light. Holden had fallen into a curled position, his eyes closed. 

"He's breathing," Naomi said. Amos could see the distinct rise and fall of Holden's chest, but his eyes didn't open. "We won't know more about all this until we get him back to the ship."

"I'll handle that," Amos said. He nodded at Alex, directing his next words in his direction. "You find what we came for. I'll meet you back on the Roci."

"Never mind about all that now," Alex spluttered. "Holden's hurt!"

"Yeah," Amos agreed, drawing his words out patiently, "and if it's serious, it'll be pretty damn pointless if we don't actually get paid because we never finished the job. Fair?"

Alex stared at him for a moment. Both men glanced at Naomi, who grunted at them in irritation.

"Just do it, Alex. We definitely can't stay here all day arguing about it, can we?" She hesitated. "Maybe I should go with him instead."

"You going to carry him?" Amos asked her bluntly.

She nodded. "Alright. You go. Hook him up to the autodoc right away."

"I know how it works," Amos said, with no bite. He bent down, heaving Holden's unconscious form off the floor, ignoring Alex's murmured "easy" from behind him. The lab was a structure of identical walls hastily assembled into place, of the kind that were popping up everywhere the Roci went. It was a short run across dry, hot ground back to the ship.

*

For such a skinny guy, Holden was kind of heavy. Amos dropped him gently in the chair in the medbay. Holden's eyes fluttered, but he didn't wake.

Amos didn't like it. He didn't like anything about this job, including the trip to a barely charted planet to visit an abandoned lab that had turned out to be full of booby traps. He didn't like sitting here in the medbay with an unconscious captain, trying to figure out what to do next.

Amos folded his hands on his thighs and waited, watching Holden breathe in and out.

*

Alex and Naomi returned half an hour later. 

"You get the download?" Amos asked as Naomi entered the medbay.

Naomi nodded, holding up a datacard before tucking it into the pocket of her flightsuit.

"You take a look at it?" Amos asked.

Naomi blinked at him, shaking her head. Her gaze flitted away from Holden to focus on their conversation. "No. You think I should?"

"Might be important."

Naomi nodded. "Yeah. Okay. How's he doing?" She sat on the spare medchair, staring at the autodoc readout.

"Not really anything wrong with him, except he could use a vitamin booster," Amos said, even though he knew that Naomi could read the information for herself on the screen. 

Naomi took a too-loud breath. "So he should regain consciousness."

"Yeah, sooner rather than later. Just gotta wait it out."

Naomi took Holden's hand. The room fell quiet, but it took a moment before Amos realised that it was the kind of quiet that people got when they were waiting on him to hear something they hadn't said. Amos frowned at Naomi, trying to work out what it was.

"I can take over," Naomi said finally. "You don't have to stay."

"Oh. Sure." Amos shifted. He really wasn't doing much good here, with nothing to fix or to shoot at. "I'll go, then."

"Thanks," Naomi said.

*

Alex sat and watched Holden for a little bit after that, while Naomi went and crashed on her bunk. He hummed country music the whole time, which made Amos wonder why Holden didn't wake up just to tell him to quit it.

Then Naomi tried to take over the vigil again, but Amos stopped her. "I'll stay with him," he said, shaking off Naomi's quick double take.

"Look. We obviously don't know what that gizmo really was or what it did. Maybe you should take a closer look at it. Carefully," he added, before Alex could protest.

Naomi nodded. "I was thinking the same thing. I'll take some new readings in the lab. I'll start the datacard decryption before I go. You just keep an eye on it for me."

"Snooping?" Alex asked.

"Seeing if there's more information about what was going on at that lab than what we got," Amos corrected and Naomi nodded.

Alex sighed. "Yeah, alright."

"Thanks," Naomi said. When she was gone, Amos found Alex looking at him in amusement.

"What's so funny?"

"Nothin'. Just, Holden's out cold and you're giving out orders. Might have to start calling you captain."

"Shut up, Martian," was all Amos said, rolling his eyes.

*

Amos was standing in the corner of the medbay thinking about nothing much when Holden made a noise. It was a harsh, whistling breath. The last sound that people made sometimes. Amos stepped closer to Holden's side, peering at the autodoc display. Holden's stats hadn't changed.

A few moments later, Holden made the noise again. This time Amos could see his eyes slowly open. Holden was looking right in his direction. His pupils were hazy.

"Steady." Amos put a hand on Holden's shoulder, then went to get a bulb filled with water. It seemed like what Naomi would have done. "You've been out a while."

Holden drank the water, then coughed, clearing his throat. "How long's a while?"

"Almost a day. We were starting to think that thing you grabbed had done something serious." 

He didn't mean to sound disapproving, but he must have anyway. Holden looked at him in amusement. "It could have been dangerous."

"It was dangerous. You were out for a day." Amos said it slowly, as if maybe Holden hadn't heard him the first time.

Holden just kept smiling. "More dangerous, I meant. Anyway, I feel fine."

Amos looked down at the autodoc, but as far as he could tell, Holden was telling the truth.

Holden sat up, moving to stagger out of the chair. Amos said nothing, moving just close enough to catch him if he fell. "Where is everyone?" Holden asked.

Amos shrugged. "Trying to figure out what the hell was wrong with you. I'm sure they'll be back soon."

"We get the data, at least?"

"Yep."

"But we're still planetside." Holden frowned. His gaze flickered from left to right, noting the signs of the Roci at rest.

"You were out," Amos said again, then added, "We've got some of Alex's fake lasagna thing left over if you're hungry."

Holden's dark eyebrows raised. "You know what? I am hungry."

*

"Here's what I don't get," Alex said later. They were all huddled around the table in the mess, watching Holden eat. He still looked pale, chewing forkfuls of food in between gulps of hot coffee. "That thing was strong enough to knock Holden right out. And now it's just dead? No radiation, nothing?"

"As far as I can tell," Naomi shot back calmly. "It would probably help if I knew what it was supposed to do." 

"Whatever it was," Amos said, "I think it's safe to assume it's done it. So maybe that's it. The thing only had one charge loaded, and now it's spent." He mimicked a rifle firing with his empty hands.

Everyone in the room thought about that for a moment, then Alex shook his head. "Well, it's a fun mystery. But Holden's fine now."

"Yep," Holden agreed with his mouth full. 

"And we got the data downloaded. Sounds like it's time to head back through the ring, hand off what we came for, and collect our pay. No problem."

Amos didn't say anything. He still had a feeling something wasn't right, but he couldn't pinpoint what it was. He had a feeling Holden thought the same thing. Holden's gut feelings were an unerring radar for trouble, only he used it to run towards the trouble as often as he did anything else. The captain drank his coffee in silence for a moment, thinking.

"Yeah," he said finally, maybe reluctantly. "Let's get out of here."

*

They were barely out of orbit when he got the first inklings that something wasn't quite right. The Roci was running through her night cycle, but Amos couldn't sleep. Insomnia wasn't something that bothered him, usually. He slipped out of his bunk and went down to the exercise room, nearly crashing into Holden as he rounded the corner.

"Thought Naomi had third watch," Amos said. He wasn't particularly interested in the answer, but Holden shook his head.

"Yeah, we traded. Guess I've slept enough," he said. It wasn't much of a joke, and Amos didn't say anything. Holden added, "I don't know, I keep thinking about French fries."

Amos looked at him in surprise. "French fries?"

"Yeah. It's weird, but I'm not sure I ever had them before I joined the navy."

Amos was quiet for a long moment, thinking over his response. Holden talked about his childhood casually sometimes, and so did Alex, and even Naomi, every once in a while. It wasn't something that Amos really understood. "I ate a lot of them when I was a kid," he said, finally. They were cheap and steaming hot, which was about as much as you could ask for, some days.

Holden frowned. "I see," he said, but he looked like he'd started thinking about something else. The conversation was over. Amos kept walking. He did pushups until his shoulders were aching, but sleep didn't come any easier. 

*

Amos couldn't stop yawning. It made Naomi laugh a little, under her breath.

"Sounds like someone needs a nap," Alex said.

"Yeah, take a couple hours," Naomi said. "You're not going to be much use to me if you fall asleep in the circuits."

Amos looked at the half-finished maintenance job in front of him, then shook his head. "How about I just go down to the medbay and take a stim shot," he said, and Naomi shrugged.

"Sure, whatever."

He stumbled down to the med locker and then back to the bridge, falling into work beside Naomi in silence. Alex was studying their course, humming something without any words.

"Weird that Holden's not up yet," Alex said after a while. "He usually likes to be here for this."

They were coming up on the ring, ready to make transit back through to the Sol system. It loomed in the centre on Alex's navigational screens.

"He'll be here in a second," Amos said.

Everyone looked up, and sure enough Holden was climbing the stairs with his usual closed gait. He stopped at the top, looking around the bridge as he caught everyone staring at him.

"Good ears," Alex said.

Amos shook his head. "I didn't hear him." Or he thought maybe he had, but not in the way Alex meant.

"Slow course," Holden said. Alex didn't ask any questions, just started punching in their coordinates. "I'm going to talk to Amos."

He gripped the railing to head back down below, and Amos followed him, ignoring the way that Naomi and Alex were both staring.

They stood in the galley looking at each other for a moment. Finally Holden started to fiddle with the coffee maker, scooping grounds into the reservoir. "Were you thinking about screwdrivers?" he asked.

Amos considered the question, arms folded across his chest. "The ones we've got are no good for these kinda jobs."

Holden sighed. He sounded resigned. "Shit. You were thinking about screwdrivers."

"Yeah." Amos shrugged, feeling oddly guilty, though he wasn't exactly sure what for.

"And you--can you hear me?" Wide-eyed, Holden looked as if he didn't really want to know the answer.

Amos contemplated lying for a moment. "I think so. I can't make out much. It's more like having a feeling of what you're going to do before you do or say it. Kinda like I'm coming up with it on my own, you know? Not so surprising."

Holden raised his eyebrows, looking at him. "Is that how I usually seem? Surprising?"

Instead of answering, Amos added, "Also I keep thinking I could use some coffee."

Holden chuckled at that. He took a second empty bulb down from the shelf. "I guess we know what that thing did when it went off."

"You touched it," Amos reminded him.

"Yeah," Holden agreed, "but you didn't. So how come you got it too? I can't hear any of the others."

"You touched the gizmo, then I touched you," Amos said. He'd been thinking it through. "Alex and Naomi didn't, not till later."

Holden nodded. "Okay."

"Guys?" Alex's voice cut into the silence over the intercom. Amos didn't think they'd been gone all that long, but Alex sounded hesitant. "Everything okay down there?"

"Just great," Amos and Holden said at the same time. Then they looked at each other.

"I'm sorry," Holden added, when the comm clicked off. "If it's weird. In my head."

Amos considered that for a moment, trying to work out what Holden was so worried about. He could feel Holden's concern tightening around him, like the ghost of a headache. "Not that weird. Miller hasn't tried to talk to me or anything."

Holden huffed a little. Maybe he was relieved. "That's something," he said.

*

"What do you mean, we're going back to the planet?" Naomi asked. She looked a little worried.

Holden paused, considering his answer. Amos kept silent. 

"Ever since I touched that thing and it went off, it's been like Amos and I can hear each other's thoughts."

"Mind-reading? That's not a real thing," Alex said, and Amos snorted.

"Easy for you to say."

"Even if it is real," Naomi said, before Alex could snark back, "it sounds like going back to the planet is the last thing we should do. Who knows what'll happen if we interfere with that thing again." 

"Maybe it'll wear off once we're on the other side of the ring," Alex added.

Holden didn't respond for a minute. It was the kind of quiet he always got when he was about to tell you something he knew you didn't want to hear. "Maybe. But that's not how it feels. It feels like we should go back."

"Amos?" Naomi asked. "You're half of this thing. You agree we should return?"

Amos didn't say anything for a moment. He wasn't in the habit of feeling out his decisions the way that Holden was. He usually just made them, and that was that. Right now he wasn't sure if the sensation he was having was based on anything real, or if he was just feeling it because Holden was. Either way, he thought he certainly preferred doing something to doing nothing. "Yeah. I think we should go back."

Alex looked at Naomi, who nodded slightly, then sighed. "Yeah, okay. One U-turn, coming right up."

*

It wasn't just the hope of a fix that had driven them back to the planet. Holden didn't like a mystery. Amos could feel it eating at him, almost as surely as if something was scratching his own skin. It was getting harder to distinguish which feelings were coming from him and which were Holden's constantly working mind. It was less distracting when they were in the same room. Amos found himself drifting to wherever Holden was, standing next to him long before he'd even consciously thought about moving.

It seemed like it worked both ways. Amos got used to the feeling of Holden approaching. His door slid open, and Holden approached. Amos was standing, studying the communication panel. He pursed his lips when he saw what Amos was doing, taking a step back.

"That looks private."

"Nah. Just a message from Ganymede." Amos waved a hand at his bunk. "You can stay."

Holden sat, and Amos tapped his screen to begin a message recording. He responded to the contents of the update Mei and Prax had just sent him, about Mei's school and Prax's lab work, before launching into a summary of their current predicament. 

Holden sat silently. Amos couldn't even tell if Holden was listening until he finished the message and looked up to find Holden smiling at him.

"What?" Amos asked.

"Nothing. It's just weird to be able to feel you talking to someone you actually like, you know? It's different."

Amos shut down the comm screen and spun to face him. "Prax is my friend."

"Yeah," Holden said, "I can tell. Sorry, you don't have to talk about this," he added, after a moment.

"You don't have to keep apologising. It's not like you got into my head on purpose."

"Yeah," Holden said.

They were both quiet.

"Are you thinking about my girlfriend?" Holden asked after a moment.

Amos felt his face crack into a grin. "I thought it would be funny."

"Yeah, it's not," Holden said.

"Sure it is," Amos said. After a while Holden laughed too, but maybe that was just the echo of Amos' own amusement.

*

Atmo was thick over the planet, and landing was as rough as it had been the first time.

Amos caught Holden staring at him, and tried to remember what he'd been thinking about. He'd been thinking about the time he'd watched a freighter botch its re-entry trajectory and come apart in the upper atmosphere, shaking apart until there had been nothing left. It was, Amos thought, a no-mess way to die.

"Do you think about that every time we're in landing maneuvers?" Holden asked when he'd unstrapped himself from his chair. "Death?"

Amos considered the question. "Sure. Don't you?"

"No," Holden said, giving him a funny look. "And until this is figured out, I'd appreciate it if you didn't either."

Amos lifted his shoulders once in tacit agreement. "Everybody dies, Holden."

*

The surface of the planet was as blisteringly hot as it had been the first time. The device was right where they'd left it, in the empty ghost-town of the laboratory. Not even Holden wanted to get near it this time.

Alex peered at the surface of each dusty, abandoned workstation, pulling back when no new clues appeared. "Thought this place was just a science nerd lab. Taking environmental recordings, or whatever."

"Yeah, that was clearly a lie," Amos said, scowling defensively when Alex frowned at him. "What? Thought we figured that out back when Holden was unconscious."

"Maybe our information was just incomplete," Holden said.

"The question is, what were they really studying here?" Alex said.

Naomi reached out to an empty coffee pot, pressing a thumbprint into the dust on its curved surface. "And why'd they leave?"

"That's not the question," Amos and Holden said at the same time. Alex laughed.

"That's creepy, man."

"What should we be asking, then?" Naomi asked them both.

Amos could feel Holden's answer coming before the man spoke. "I just wonder what else they left behind."

"And what's going to happen when we trip over it," Amos added.

"That's optimistic," Alex drawled. "Listen, why don't we focus on one problem at a time?"

All four of them stared at the device on the floor. It still resembled nothing so much as a small missile, but an inert one, laying uselessly on its side. Naomi leaned in to scan it, then shook her head.

"It's still not giving off any readings. I don't think it's doing anything at all."

"Only one way to find out for sure," Amos suggested.

Holden shook his head. "We are not blowing it up."

"Why not? Leaving it alone didn't work, and neither did getting further away. The worst thing that can happen is nothing."

"Are we sure that's the worst thing?" Alex asked.

"Probably the worst thing," Amos amended.

Holden looked down at his feet, then at the device, thinking.

"Unless you want to be stuck with me in your head forever," Amos added. 

For a minute Holden looked like he was waiting for something, but there was no sign of Miller melting out of the corners to hint at the right answers. Amos wondered if he'd be able to see him too, if it happened. "No," he said finally. "We don't know what it is, and we don't know how it works. We can't just fire at everything we don't understand."

Amos shrugged. Holden had given this speech a bunch of times since they'd opened the rings. Amos still wasn't sure he agreed with it, exactly, but this time he could feel how much Holden meant it, the emotion leaking into Amos' own bones like water spilling over the brim of a cup.

Behind Holden's words he could make out something else, distracting him and pulling his attention in another direction. Amos looked around, trying to work out where the pull was coming from.

"Hey," Naomi said, sounding worried. "What's wrong?"

He was distantly aware of a spike of concern from Holden, and the captain putting a hand on his sidearm, trying to track Amos' line of sight. There was a low-grade buzzing sensation at the back of his brain. Amos tried to focus on it. His gaze was pulled in the direction of an open locker in the corner, piled high with what Amos had mentally filed away as science junk. He moved closer to it, reaching into the debris.

"Whoa, I thought we agreed not to touch anything." That was Alex, sounding more worried than irritated. Naomi said something too, but Amos couldn't pay attention over the loud stream of Holden's words.

Holden, who when Amos looked over in his direction, wasn't speaking at all. The object he'd grabbed was smooth to his fingertips, made of the same shiny metal as the first device they'd found. This one was smaller, enough that Amos could get all his fingers around it.

Amos felt an abrupt wave of nausea sweep over him. Holden was still talking in his head. It wasn't the vague impressions he'd had before, but instead clear, quick thoughts, delivered in something that sounded exactly like Holden's voice.

The communications array on the Cant had malfunctioned once. It had started spitting out every message it had ever received, producing an unending jumble of images and sounds that might have made sense, except they didn't. Not really.

"It took days to sort out that communications shit," Holden thought, clearly. And then, "I hope this doesn't take that long." And then, "Now I know how you feel when I start touching alien shit."

Amos looked down at the object in his hand. He let go, and Holden's voice in his head receded suddenly, as if someone had found the volume button.

"I need to sit down," he said, and did, his weight hitting the ground in the next instant.

*

When he could focus again, Holden was there. In front of him, and in his head. The way Holden's mouth pulled tight made him look annoyed, but in Amos's head it was mostly worry, along with a million other thoughts Amos couldn't keep track of.

Alex was there too, handing him his canteen. Amos shook his head.

"I'm okay,' he said. Before he could form the intention to get back on his feet, Holden was shaking him off.

Crouched down next to him, Alex was babbling. "It was kinda scary, y'know? Don't usually see you get hurt."

Amos frowned. "I get hurt all the time."

"You get injured," Alex corrected. "This was different."

Amos wasn't sure how, but he nodded anyway. "Didn't mean to scare y'all," was all he said.

A few metres away, Naomi was focused on the screen of her hand terminal, forehead furrowed as she looked at it. Breaking off from Alex's worried clucking, Amos raised his voice to get her attention.

"Let me guess. You don't know what this one's doing either." Amos gestured to the small object that was still sitting where he'd dropped it.

Naomi looked up and shook her head. "I don't, but that's not what I'm looking at." She gestured with the hand terminal. "I ran decryption and analysis on the information we downloaded."

Beside him, Holden frowned. "Why'd you do that?"

"It was Amos' idea," Naomi said, after a small pause. 

Amos found himself expecting something sharp like surprise coming off Holden, but Holden only nodded. "What did you find?"

"Lots of science speak," Naomi said, making a face. "Looks like the corporation working here dug up a rock that turned out to be some sort of, hmmn, telepathic conduit? They were working on military uses for it."

Everyone was silent for a moment. Holden was thinking about the protomolecule, and Amos guessed the others were too.

"For Earth, or the Martians?" Amos asked.

"Hey, it's all the coalition now," Alex said, in cynicism that mingled with amusement.

Holden rolled his eyes. "Right."

"Could even be the Belt," Amos added.

A distinctly Belter expression that was something like a shrug crossed Naomi's face. "I don't know. It doesn't say." 

"Does it say how to fix it?" Holden asked.

Naomi sighed, staring at him. "This is not actually what I'm good at, you know."

"Maybe, but you're the best we've got." Holden smiled at her. Amos could feel it. It was a weird thing to have a front row seat for, but trapped like he was in Holden's thoughts, Amos could only wait it out.

Naomi smiled back, and Holden's reaction to that was another burst of warm emotion. "Fine. I'll see what I can figure out." 

*

Amos had seen a lot of people lose it out on long-haul runs. One minute they'd be fine, and the next they'd be trying to put their head through the bulkhead with no explanation. He'd never really understood it.

But having another person's thoughts in your mind was probably a little bit like going crazy. Amos wasn't sure what would happen if it kept on going.

The wince on Holden's face told Amos he'd heard that thought loud and clear. "Can you think about something else?" he asked.

"I'll try. Sorry." Amos shrugged. 

"You don't have to be sorry," Holden said, offering a smile that came out more like a grimace. Amos could feel the wry resignation behind it.

Amos searched for another tack. "You think a lot," was what he said, finally.

"Kind of assumed everyone did, to be honest with you." 

"Maybe," Amos said, noncommittally. He couldn't be sure, but he had a feeling that this particular rapid-fire parsing of the world was just a Holden thing.

Naomi and Alex had gone back to the Roci to keep sorting through the data dump from the terminals on board. Amos and Holden stayed behind. Guarding the lab, though Holden hadn't said so exactly.

"Our client knew something was going on here. Doesn't exactly seem like it was a well-kept secret."

Amos still couldn't think straight. They hadn't run into any other humans on this side of the ring. With any luck, they'd be able to keep it that way.

Holden snorted out loud. "Didn't know you believed in luck."

"I believe in luck. It's just that most of it's bad," Amos said.

Inside Amos' head, Holden felt like he agreed.

*

Years of long hauls had made Amos pretty good at waiting. Holden was calm on the outside, but inwardly restless. Amos ignored it. He sat with his legs stretched out along the floor, his eyes trained squarely on the lab exit.

"This was your idea," Holden said, his voice so soft that at first Amos wasn't sure he'd actually said the words out loud.

Amos turned to look at him. "My idea? How exactly was it my idea?"

"You said we should just take a simple job for once and leave Earth and Mars and the Belt to their usual bullshit."

"You picked the job." Amos shrugged.

"I'm just saying that I'm kind of feeling nostalgic for Avasarala's bullshit right now," Holden said.

"You ever wish you hadn't done it?" Amos asked. It was something he'd wondered about for awhile.

Holden made a face at him. "You picked a weird time for truth or dare," he said, gesturing to his head and the connection between them.

"Just curious."

"If I regret opening the rings? Gotta say, it didn't feel like we had a lot of choices at the time. And it could have been…" He trailed off a moment before finding his voice again. "It could have been anyone else inside that station."

That was bullshit, but Holden clearly believed it, so Amos let it go.

After a moment, Holden added, "Besides, humans are the same, you know? Wherever we are."

That much Amos agreed with. 

*

"I think I found something."

Naomi and Alex were back, with news and a care package hastily assembled from the Roci's food stores. Amos found he wasn't hungry. Instead of sounding triumphant, Naomi's report was muted.

"There was the device to connect two subjects. Then there was a separate thing to control the connection. That's what you found," she said to Amos.

"Didn't seem like it works that well."

Naomi nodded. "It's all still experimental. There's a third device for breaking the link. I should be able to give it instructions to separate the two of you."

"How many people that tried it died?" Amos asked.

Everyone in the room turned to look at him in dismay. Amos folded his arms across his chest.

"Look," he said, "this station is abandoned. The only reason you abandon an experiment is if it's not working right. So, how many?"

"Most of them," Naomi admitted.

"Maybe you should just leave things the way they are," Alex said.

Amos thought about that. His head was aching, either from processing the constant stream of Holden's thoughts or from the residual traces of the captain's own discomfort. "I don't really get the feeling that outcome's going to be any better. Might just take longer."

"That's something, at least," Alex said. "Gives us time to figure out something else."

Amos looked over at Holden. He'd flown with Holden long enough that he'd gotten used to the way he made up his mind about things. From the inside it was a cool certainty that momentarily blocked out the background noise of the rest of his thoughts. Right now, though, Amos wasn't feeling much of reaction at all.

Holden caught the whiff of Amos' surprise when their eyes met. He nodded. "You're the one feeling the worst of it. You should decide."

Which was either generous or stupid, when both of their brains were on the line. Amos couldn't decide.

"Could be both," Holden thought at him, with a bubble of amusement.

Amos didn't want to make this call. He didn't want to be responsible for driving Holden over the edge, once Holden got a clearer look at some of the things that were in Amos' head.

Holden's thoughts in response to that were a quick jumble that sparked a fresh wave of nausea. 

The others were looking at him, waiting.

"Let's do it," Amos said, "and then get the hell out of here."

*

Naomi set up the device on a table, directing them both to face each other with their hands wrapped around the surface. Holden thought the position was unexpectedly intimate. It drew a rough chuckle out of Amos' throat.

"We've been getting way more personal than this."

Holden felt worried, but the feeling was directed outwards.

"Maybe the two of you should get out of here," Holden said to Naomi. "You don't have to be here for this."

Alex shook his head. "There's no amount of burn we can put between us and this planet that's going to make us feel better about what happens here. So whatever you're going to do, just do it."

Holden nodded. "Yeah, okay. Ready?"

He looked at Amos. He was searching for something, Amos realised, reading Amos' thoughts with something that felt like confusion.

"I'm not scared," Amos said. "Getting impatient, though."

Naomi touched something at the computer controls. "Hang on, then."

*

The room went dark around him for a moment. When it returned, Holden was gone. He was there, in front of Amos with their hands still touching, but he wasn't in Amos's head any more.

Holden was slumped over. Naomi rushed to his side, then nodded in relief.

"He's okay," she said.

"Think he'll be out long?" Amos asked. "Like last time?"

Holden started to stir before Naomi could answer. His blue eyes blinked open uncertainly as he drew back his hand.

"Shit," he said, words slurring together. "That was a ride."

"Yeah, but you're used to having people in your head," Amos said.

Holden half-smiled at that, except Amos couldn't feel it on the inside of his skull this time. It was weird.

"What do we do now?" Alex asked, looking around. "One day someone's going to come and start this all up again."

"Not our problem," Holden said.

Except now Amos knew there was no way Holden actually believed that. "Let's blow it up," he said.

"All of it?" Holden asked.

Amos shrugged. "Sure. No one's going to know. It's like Alex said. No good's going to come of it being here." His brain had run through what the data files might mean by military uses. None of it was good.

"Fine with me," Naomi said, and Alex nodded. So did Holden. 

Amos nodded back at him. "I'll get the charges."

*

The Roci was back in the sky an hour later. Amos went back to a round of his daily chores, but he could feel Holden hovering just a short distance away every time he moved.

"I don't want to talk about it," Amos said.

He could hear the rumble of a humming noise that meant Holden was deciding how to respond. "What if I want to talk about it?" Holden asked finally.

"You have Naomi for that."

"Okay." Holden stepped closer, and clapped him on the shoulder. "No talking."

Alex's voice came over the comms. "Coming up on the ring, folks. Home, straight ahead."


End file.
